One phrase can be interpreted in many ways depending on, who's saying it, what the circumstances are, just the context of the phrase...."I love you". Sometimes said as "I luv you", "I love ya", "I <3 U", get my point?
Its true that you can love someone and not be IN love with them. Like when man and woman are just friends, they love each other, but that doesn't mean they want to get married and have children and spend the rest of their lives with each other. Women seek that kind of love, we as species yearn for it. Men....just... take it as it comes.
So whenever we say this phrase to each other we should make sure that the person we are saying this to knows in which context we are meaning. Its one thing to say "I love you" and just mean it platonically to a friend of the same or opposite sex. Its another thing to say "I love you" to someone who you are dating. Do we see the difference? Its seems like this should be black and white, but there is so much gray.
Imagine you are dating someone, you have a sexual relationship, you are pretty much in a full blown relationship. You even say those words "I love you" to each other. Now, they way a girl would see this, is as being in a relationship with someone who is IN love with her. The guy just means its a platonic love because they haven't said out loud that they are "boyfriend/girlfriend"....
Can you start to see the gray?
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Family? Or No Family?
I can't decide whether being a single mom with no help is more challenging that being a single mom who lives with her entire family is more challenging?
Maybe not so much for me, but for the child involved.
My child has no concept that I am his boss. He thinks if I say "no" he can just get it from one of his many grandparents. I understand that's pretty typical behavior for any child, but when the grandparent openly acknowledges that I said "no", but it's okay and give in to whatever the child is asking for.......not okay.
I love the support and help that my family gives and I don't think they will ever know how much I actually appreciate them. When it comes to parenting though......please back off! How do you say that without it being taken the wrong way? I know I am not the "best" parent....but I am still learning, and they need to let me learn how to be a better parent...and I don't mind the advice, but must you be condescending? I wish people would just have conversations with me. I think I am pretty reasonable I don't like to always hear how I am screwing up and that it will inevitably screw up my child, but who does?
If I were to live on my own as a single mom, I wouldn't have any debate with my child regaurding who is boss. I am sure there are many other challenges that go along with being on your own though.
I guess I should just be grateful that my family helps me as much as they do and just sit down from now on and let them know that I am my child's parent and I am the one who needs to do the parenting.
I know it's human nature for grandparents to want to stuff their grandkids with sugar and send them on their merry way, but they can't do that if the grandkid lives with them!
Maybe not so much for me, but for the child involved.
My child has no concept that I am his boss. He thinks if I say "no" he can just get it from one of his many grandparents. I understand that's pretty typical behavior for any child, but when the grandparent openly acknowledges that I said "no", but it's okay and give in to whatever the child is asking for.......not okay.
I love the support and help that my family gives and I don't think they will ever know how much I actually appreciate them. When it comes to parenting though......please back off! How do you say that without it being taken the wrong way? I know I am not the "best" parent....but I am still learning, and they need to let me learn how to be a better parent...and I don't mind the advice, but must you be condescending? I wish people would just have conversations with me. I think I am pretty reasonable I don't like to always hear how I am screwing up and that it will inevitably screw up my child, but who does?
If I were to live on my own as a single mom, I wouldn't have any debate with my child regaurding who is boss. I am sure there are many other challenges that go along with being on your own though.
I guess I should just be grateful that my family helps me as much as they do and just sit down from now on and let them know that I am my child's parent and I am the one who needs to do the parenting.
I know it's human nature for grandparents to want to stuff their grandkids with sugar and send them on their merry way, but they can't do that if the grandkid lives with them!
If Life Was A Movie
Okay, so I watch a lot of movies and when I say "a lot" I mean A LOT.....don't you ever wish your life could be like a movie? I always wonder when my "happily ever after" is going to happen? In reality....probably never. Is anyone ever really happily ever after?
One of my favorite movies is The Wedding Planner.....I know cheesy....get over it! C'mon though, how realistic is that story line? It's not.....but I wish my life was like JLo's.....you have a great job and make tons of money, you have a great apartment, you wear Prada shoes to work!, you have great friends and a hobby (playing scrabble...but still a hobby), while you are planning this wedding that gets you a promotion you meet the man of your dreams he falls in love with you and leaves his fiance at the wedding (which she is okay with) and then runs off to find you where you had your first date and asks you to dance and it all works out.....BULL SHIT!
Still one of my favorites, no matter how unrealistic it is!
How about the musical genre....I love it! But why can't we, in real life, dance and sing and everyone be on key and know all right dance steps?
I guess my point is....Where can I find Matthew McConaughey and dance and sing my life away happily ever after!
PS
Why is everyone in the movies beautiful?
(BITCHES)
One of my favorite movies is The Wedding Planner.....I know cheesy....get over it! C'mon though, how realistic is that story line? It's not.....but I wish my life was like JLo's.....you have a great job and make tons of money, you have a great apartment, you wear Prada shoes to work!, you have great friends and a hobby (playing scrabble...but still a hobby), while you are planning this wedding that gets you a promotion you meet the man of your dreams he falls in love with you and leaves his fiance at the wedding (which she is okay with) and then runs off to find you where you had your first date and asks you to dance and it all works out.....BULL SHIT!
Still one of my favorites, no matter how unrealistic it is!
How about the musical genre....I love it! But why can't we, in real life, dance and sing and everyone be on key and know all right dance steps?
I guess my point is....Where can I find Matthew McConaughey and dance and sing my life away happily ever after!
PS
Why is everyone in the movies beautiful?
(BITCHES)
"The Hills is Like Crack"
As Matthew so plainly puts it.... "LC is my best friend"....isn't sad when we all start to feel like these reality TV show stars really are our friends because we are so wrapped up in their drama. BUT WE LOVE IT!!!!!
I couldn't keep my eyes off the reality TV show on Monday nights season premiere!!
I can't wait for the rest of this season and I hope it's not the last!
"The Hills is like crack" - Perez Hilton (so true!)
I couldn't keep my eyes off the reality TV show on Monday nights season premiere!!
I can't wait for the rest of this season and I hope it's not the last!
"The Hills is like crack" - Perez Hilton (so true!)
Monday, August 18, 2008
"Daddy's Girl"
I've never been a "Daddy's Girl" and that has become more apparent in the passing week. I talked to my dad last week and before our converstion ended he says to me, "I just figured out how to put pictures on the computer, I should send you the ones from when we were in Sedona."
"When were you in Sedona?"
"Last month some time"
"Why didn't you call me?"
"Oh yeah, it's only a couple hours away from you....I guess I didn't think about it"
I just started screaming in my head "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT THINK ABOUT IT?" I would think the fact of being in the state of Arizona where your daughter and your grandson live would just be synonomous? I guess I was wrong. Just the words alone "....I didn't even think about it" are like a million knifes stabbing my heart. I am really gald that my father doesn't think about me.
I am 23 years old and this man shouldn't have this effect on me, but somehow he always seems to make me feel like a broken hearted 5 year old. It makes me so angry that he hurts my feelings this way. Then I just feel so guilty for being upset with my father when one of my best friends just lost hers.
Her father was the kind of dad who actually loved her and was there for her whenever she needed him. She always thought of her father as one of her best friends and when he passed got those exact words "Daddy's Girl" tattooed on her. I have always envied her relationship with her father. Not always the best of times, but managed to work through the rough patches together as a family. And here I am wishing that I could still trade places with her.
I am not saying I want my dad to die, but I wish I had the same relationship with my dad the way she did with hers. I wish my dad had been around when I was little and taken the time to teach me how to play the guitar. I wish my dad was someone I could turn to when my heart was broken, I just wish he could've been my DAD. It just doesn't seem fair that I have this man who I call my "father" but hasn't been a signifcant part of life makes me feel this way and her dad is gone.
Even though my dad hasn't been a significant part of my life its amazing the significant impact he has on my feelings and my heart.
"When were you in Sedona?"
"Last month some time"
"Why didn't you call me?"
"Oh yeah, it's only a couple hours away from you....I guess I didn't think about it"
I just started screaming in my head "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT THINK ABOUT IT?" I would think the fact of being in the state of Arizona where your daughter and your grandson live would just be synonomous? I guess I was wrong. Just the words alone "....I didn't even think about it" are like a million knifes stabbing my heart. I am really gald that my father doesn't think about me.
I am 23 years old and this man shouldn't have this effect on me, but somehow he always seems to make me feel like a broken hearted 5 year old. It makes me so angry that he hurts my feelings this way. Then I just feel so guilty for being upset with my father when one of my best friends just lost hers.
Her father was the kind of dad who actually loved her and was there for her whenever she needed him. She always thought of her father as one of her best friends and when he passed got those exact words "Daddy's Girl" tattooed on her. I have always envied her relationship with her father. Not always the best of times, but managed to work through the rough patches together as a family. And here I am wishing that I could still trade places with her.
I am not saying I want my dad to die, but I wish I had the same relationship with my dad the way she did with hers. I wish my dad had been around when I was little and taken the time to teach me how to play the guitar. I wish my dad was someone I could turn to when my heart was broken, I just wish he could've been my DAD. It just doesn't seem fair that I have this man who I call my "father" but hasn't been a signifcant part of life makes me feel this way and her dad is gone.
Even though my dad hasn't been a significant part of my life its amazing the significant impact he has on my feelings and my heart.
In Loving Memory of Richard Moore
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