Unknown Caller

It was a typical summer day in Arizona, sunny and way too hot, and I was on my way to a BBQ/pool party at my friend Jessie’s house. My good friend Lindsay was in town from her internship in Hawaii and Jessie wanted to get all of her friends together for a party, but really it was an excuse for everyone to do some day drinking by the pool. Even though we were all friends in high school it still can be awkward to be around a bunch of people that I never see or talk to anymore. I really didn’t want to show up to the BBQ alone so I called my friend Julie and she was just getting out of the shower and would be there an hour or so. I really didn’t plan on staying that long since I would have to pick up my son early from his dad and I didn’t want to wait around and extra an hour for her to be ready. I decided to call Lindsay and make sure she was there so I could least stand around with her and talk to her. I was already on my way and getting close to Jessie’s house. I had my summer playlist from my iPod blaring out the windows, which consists of Bob Marley, Pepper, Sublime, and Slightly Stoopid…pretty much anything with a reggae sound to it; I was trying to put myself in a friendly upbeat mood. I turned down the music to make my call. I grabbed my cell phone out of its place in my cup holder and noticed I had a voicemail. I quickly glanced at my missed call and all it said was “Unknown Number”, I didn’t think anything of it and I was way to close to the party. I called Lindsay and made a mental note to check the voicemail later.

Lindsay and I arrived at the BBQ at the same time and being there wasn’t as awkward as I was anticipating and it ended up being a successful couple hours. As soon as I had my son, he and I went to the mall. I figured it would be a nice day for us to go to Barnes & Noble, so I could pick up the books from Cosmo’s summer reading list, and he could play in the play area right outside the store. We grabbed some lunch in the food court and then went about our day. Once we finally got home and I was relaxed on the couch with my new book “Why He Didn’t Call You Back” skimming the pages for anything interesting. Diego was watching cartoons and playing with his new stuffed dragon he acquired at Barnes & Noble. I was bored with my book, I was really hoping it was going to be like “He’s Just Not That Into You” for some insight, but it was mainly common sense. I finally remembered that I hadn’t checked my unknown caller’s voicemail and picked up my cell phone. I called my voicemail and the semi friendly robotic woman’s voice chimed, “You have one unheard message” I can’t help but think of the Friends episode where Joey says in a comical robotic voice, “’you have one new message” and then continues with “what a cool job!” I always quietly laugh to myself whenever I hear that on my own voicemail.

Next thing I hear is a man’s deep husky sounding voice telling me, “you’re fat and you’re ugly.” I listened to it over and over again trying to see if I could recognize the voice because it sounded a lot like someone I work with. I couldn’t help, but think if this is the person I think it is, he sure does have room to talk. He is a seven foot ogre with pot marks all over his face and slanted eyes that you can never really tell if they are open or not. I was never offended by the comments, but thought of them as comical. What kind of adult male goes out of his way to prank call another adult in the middle of a Saturday afternoon? Usually when a guy is prank calling a girl it has something to with alcohol and possibly drunk dialing, but it was a sober sounding message.

I don’t want to jump to conclusions about who would do something a twelve year old girl does, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t help but think it was the guy I work with, but I kept questioning myself to why he would do such a thing. He is married, and we are what I consider work friends. We run in the same work social circles and occasionally will see what the other is up for the weekend if it’s anything interesting, but never any ill feelings. Regardless of whom left the message it’s completely asinine. First, I may not be extraordinarily beautiful but I know I am not ugly. Second, I may carry around a few extra LBs, but I really don’t care. I still have guys tell me I am beautiful and I am smart and fun and if someone wants to call me from an “unknown number” because he doesn’t have any balls and he tries and break me down or give me a complex…..I say to you….NICE TRY.